Valentine’s day has passed, but it’s still February and if you’re anything like my mom you’re still probably celebrating what she would call “love month”. So I figured I’d stay on the topic. Relationships might be covered down the line… and by down the line, I mean the distant future. For this post, I’m going to talk about the most important relationship, the foundation of all, the one relationship that enables you to love others truly… our relationship with Jesus. If you couldn’t see that coming by the time you read “most important relationship” then this is extra for you.
We live in a world where a lot of people want to be loved, want to give love, and want to know love, but don’t realize that they’re just searching for Jesus. And the reality of it all is that until we know Jesus and have the revelation of God’s love we will never be able to do any of those things properly. The world might think you can get away with it, but you really can’t. There will always be a void. I see it all the time in friends I’ve seen and known who say they are and aren’t saved. You can know who Jesus is but you need to know Jesus for yourself. God is love and we have to truly embody that in our day-to-day lives. Meaning walking in love towards ourselves, others, and loving the Lord above all else.
Matthew 22:37-39 AMPC — And He replied to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (intellect). [Deut. 6:5.] This is the great (most important, principal) and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself. [Lev. 19:18.]
Love the Lord..
The beginning of it all is starting with loving the Lord with your whole self. The Lord brings us a wholeness that we could never find in anything. Not a job, not accomplishment, not relationships, only Jesus. The word says He loved us first and that, that’s the reason we love. The best way to describe this is that as people we do what we’re taught. I mean if you look at your upbringing, it is what shapes you into the person you are whether it was learning what to or not to do. So when we feel the tangible love of God and understand the sacrifice Jesus made for us, it fills every void imaginable.
His perfect love casts out all fear. (1 John 4:18). That means anxiety has to go, fear of failure and disappointment has to go, the idea that you’re unlovable disappears. The love God has for us is truly beyond what we could ever imagine and comprehend. That love then instills our true identity in Christ. That we are loved, we’re blessed, we can do anything through Christ who gives us strength (Phil. 4:13), that He knew and loved us before we ever came to be (Psalm 139), and that he knows every detail from the tears you’ve shed to the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7). Through that revelation of the love of God for us, it actually allows us to truly love ourselves and have confidence in who God is and who He says we are because He makes us into a new creation. Loving yourself means many things. It’s believing what God says about you, spending time with Him, respecting yourself, healthy boundaries, and so much more.
Love Yourself..
There are people who think they do better at loving others and neglect to love themselves. The truth is you can’t do that. You have to love your neighbors as you love yourself. Think about how you speak of yourself. Do you talk about yourself poorly? Do you sit and ridicule yourself? Do you dwell on your past and nitpick yourself? If you do — STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Pick up your Bible and renew your mind with the word and speak it over yourself. To really love others, you need to believe the word for yourself, and then be that example for others. If not you’ll probably end up striving to be approved and loved by man and trying to show love out of a need for a return rather than just loving and showing compassion just because. This also means loving people who have wronged and being an example of Jesus to them in forgiving them and truly forgetting. The Lord doesn’t hold things over our heads, so why should we do that to others? That act of love and forgiveness actually has the very power to break something off that person's life. Maybe they’ve only seen people lash out, maybe they’ve always had people just resent them instead of being patient, maybe no one had ever taken the time to truly love them despite what they’ve done. That’s not saying you have to be buddy-buddy with them but you can treat them as if nothing was done when you see them. Don’t avoid them but if you come across them just say hi and be kind.
I am the first one to admit that I didn’t always do that right. I’m one who actually felt that approval = being loved. I thought saying yes to everyone all the time despite how I felt was me showing love and the best way to get people to love me. I essentially became a doormat, overly exhausted, and felt walked all over. Then a few times when I had said no I felt like I was cornered. In reality that was majorly my fault because I let myself believe that my yes was love and when I said no I would lose someone’s love for me. Very real situations that I took super personal. I had to realize that my “yes” was actually draining me and not letting me love people the best way I could because I was too tired and becoming very agitated. I had a very real conversation where I called someone after an unexpected conversation and said “I only said what I said because I lived a life where if I said no I thought others wouldn’t love me anymore and I needed to know I could say no and still be respected and loved.” I don’t think my mom would care if I said this and neither would my dad, but it stemmed back to growing up and my parents and I not always getting along and I didn’t always have their approval. So I just sought it from others. I knew they loved me but it wasn’t easy. However, my mom always told me she just wanted me to stand up for myself and evaluate my relationships with people. Did people only love me for my yes or did they also love me when I've said no? At this point I had experienced the love of God and I did love and always will love the Lord but I still cared too much about how others loved me instead of just putting God first and making more room for him and myself.
Now I know how to say no, I know that when people don’t like it that it’s not the end of the world and that people’s approval and love isn’t what I live for. It’s about living for Jesus and being an example of Him on this earth and loving others as He would. Now that doesn’t mean you have to be sunshine and rainbows 24/7, you’re going to probably tell some hard truths that hurt sometimes. But all of this has helped me love people better, be more mindful, and make the most time with the Lord in my day-to-day life. It’s not people’s responsibility to make me feel loved. The need for that was already done through that very first touch in the presence of God.
Examine yourself..
So today I urge you to examine yourself. Is your life spent loving God with your whole self? Do you believe what the word says about you? Do you love your friends and family and neighbors the way you love yourself? How can you be an example of the love of Jesus? Is there striving in your life? What do you love more and is that the Lord or are you putting other things over God? I hope all of this eases you into peace and understanding that loving the Lord first allows you to love yourself and those around you better than ever. So if you already know Jesus then I hope this shows you a better way to love today. But if you don’t know the Lord personally, haven’t experienced the love of God, or maybe you slipped away God loves you so big. He loves you so much He sent the only son, the only child He had for YOU. He loves you and wants you to know an unmatched love. Pray this prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus,
"Come into my heart. Forgive me of all my sins and wash me clean. Thank You, Lord, that you loved me so much you sent Jesus. Thank you Jesus that you died for me, and that I can have an assurance that you’re coming back again for me. Thank you that I get to experience a peace that surpasses all understanding. Give me the ability to love others as you love. Let me experience that love so deep. Give me a passion for the lost, a hunger for the things of God, and a holy boldness to preach the gospel."
Just like my favorite childhood show Veggie Tales says, “You’re special and God loves you very much!”
