Dear Married Couple,
Hi! I’m Simone. I am from Oklahoma and moved to Florida in 2006 after high school to attend bible school. I met my husband shortly after graduating and we got married. I was 20 and he was 24. Almost 14 years later I’ve never been more happy I said I do. I have definitely learned a lot over the past 14 years and I want to share with you the 3 keys that will take your marriage to the next level.
1. Two Are Better Than One
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us just this: 9 Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; 10 for if [a]either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up. Several weeks after getting married we moved to a new city for 4 months for my husband's job. He worked a lot. And I mean a lot. Most of the time I was alone. I think most people would have been discouraged by that situation. Newly married and eating dinner every night by yourself with your husband working very long hours. If he came home at 10:30PM that would be an early night. It’s not the picture of marriage we see in movies or on TV. Through that hard work and sacrifice on both our parts we made over double the income my husband had made the year prior. When God puts two people together, He has increase in mind. Why are two better? Because you are strong where the other isn’t as strong. You compliment each other with the skills you both bring. Many hands make the workload lighter. Marriage is supposed to make two whole people better people. From the beginning God didn’t want man to be alone so He gave him a woman. I think many in our society today miss the power that two people working together for a common goal can have. There is hard work, there is sacrifice, but there is reward. Which leads into my next two points: Unity and Vision.
2. Unity
If you are not unified in your vision you will not go anywhere. It will be really hard to have a happy marriage if there is no unity. Sometimes to have unity you have to put aside your desires. Sometimes you have to change your mindset or way of thinking. Sometimes unity means each of you getting better. Psalm 133:1 tells us, Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! You will be better, your marriage will be better and your life will be better when you are unified. If you can’t get on the same page you won’t go very far. I have seen very talented people not reach their potential because they and their spouse were not on the same page. You need to openly discuss with your spouse or future spouse what areas you both are doing good and where you need improvement. As we grow in God this is always changing. There is never a moment you have arrived. You need to continually check in and make sure you are on the same page and growing together. Talk about changes you both need to make and do it together. It’s not one person changing for the other person. It’s both of you seeing the goal and making the changes. Which leads me to my final point.
3. Vision
What is the vision for your life and marriage? I can tell you this, God has no small plans. If he has brought two people together it’s for a purpose. The purpose is to establish His kingdom and occupy til He comes. That is different for everyone. Everyone is needed and plays an important role. But for the two of you there has to be a moment you make a plain vision of what God has called you to accomplish together. I am sure everyone is familiar with Habakkuk 2:2: Then the LORD answered me and said, “Write the vision And engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets So that the one who reads it will run. Husbands, you need to make sure you speak the vision to our wife. If she can’t see where you guys are going she won’t want to follow you. When you speak the vision, you are speaking life.
If there is no vision, you won’t go anywhere.
I want to challenge you both to join my husband and myself this year with a renewed focus on strengthening our marriage. Our marriage wasn’t bad before but in order for us to go to the next level we needed to get stronger. Individually and in our marriage. Take some time and set the vision for your year and get into unity on what you want to accomplish and how you are going to get there. Take a specific time to check in and make sure you are both on the right track. A great question to ask each other is with our goal/vision in mind, where are areas we need to get better or stronger to get there? You will see a difference in your marriage and in each other when you focus on and make unity and your vision a priority.
All my love,
Simone Jooste
