Dear Daters,
Exciting news! I have a very special couple on this post. They are two friends who I consider to be family. They have done a lot from making really great coffee at Kings Arms Coffee, running a macaron business called B&B Macarons, and running an account called @BeautyandtheBrit where they hit up spots in our city locally and review them sometimes so that we don’t have to try a fail first. They just crossed their 3 year marriage mark, have brought a sweet baby boy into the world, and in my eyes had a very successful dating experience and I asked them to write to y’all. Enjoy some nuggets of wisdom from Steph + Eddie Williams.
Set, Decide, and Ask
Set your course from the beginning. Decide what boundaries to put in place and ask the Holy Ghost to guide you. From personal experience, that was the foundation for our relationship that created success.
When you give the Holy Ghost the reins, you are letting Him pave the way for you—what better way to start your new adventure?
When we started dating, we discussed our goals in life, checked if they aligned, then from there set boundaries to follow till we got married. What boundaries? Ones that would mean we wouldn’t tarnish or risk the purity of our relationship. Ones that would show the Lord we mean business, that we want to honor what His Word says about relationships, as well as keeping each other safe.
Steph: Do not fear the unknown. Dating can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. I was full of fear before Ed and I started dating. Without realizing it, I allowed my desire for the perfect will of God, to turn into a fear of the unknown. I took innocent submission and subconsciously turned it into unnecessary pressure. Once I decided to shut my mind up and let the Lord speak to me, He told me the choice was mine. I was confused at first. I thought, “God, You have the perfect plan for me. Just tell me what it is.” But He’s a God who works by love. Love isn’t forceful or demanding. Love is patient and kind. It was at this moment that I realized how much of a Father God is to His children. He wants us to make the best decisions, but He takes delight in us making them on our own. Turns out, God wanted me to trust Him. He reminded me of who the Holy Spirit is in my life—my Guidance, Counselor, the One Who walks alongside me. He wanted me to realize that faith pleases Him, but faith is an act, not a cry. Crying doesn’t please God. Taking a step into the unknown, knowing that He will guide my feet is what He wanted me to understand and believe. Once I did, I found the love of my life. It would’ve never happened without realizing that God has the PERFECT plan for my life, but I’m the one who decides to walk it out or not. Boy am I glad I did. It’s only up from here and I’m so excited.
Ed: As someone with a 100% dating success record, my advice would be not to overthink it. I’ve seen too many people so terrified to take a first step—treating a first date like a marriage proposal. You should know what you want before you step out, yes, but don’t be afraid to step out in confidence.
When dating, remember your goal—to get to know this special someone on a deeper level. You must know this person as a friend, AND girlfriend/boyfriend.
People are like onions—they have layers. Discovering who they are, also shows us who we are too, and if it’s right, everything will blossom.
Sincerely,
Steph + Ed Williams
