As we all know, it’s February ALREADY. This means one thing, some people’s most dreaded or most favorite holiday is coming around… Valentine’s Day. Ironically I rarely have ever heard of people genuinely going out and celebrating Valentine’s Day with their significant other. I don’t know if it’s because people hate it that much or what. But what I do know is that most people I know celebrate it with friends. So instead of talking about relationships, I’m here to talk about one of my favorite topics, Friendship. I am incredibly grateful for my friends. From my roommates who are sweet and incredibly unfiltered, to my other best friends near and far, and people that I love that I enjoy having in life (even the ones I don’t see often). Each person has taught me something special. The greatest things I’ve learned though happen to be honesty, trust, and fun. A friend who is real is always better than a fake friend, a friend to confide in is better than someone who will undermine you, and a friend you can laugh with is always better than someone who leaves you feeling drained.
Now for me, I wasn’t always the most outgoing person—and I mean ask my family and people who knew me as a kid, I was not about it. The older I got, the more I broke out of my shell, and it turns out I really am a people person and rarely ever want to be by myself. It’s not even because I can’t handle being alone with my own thoughts, but because I really do believe life is best experienced when shared with people. That’s one of the biggest things I’ll emphasize throughout time here. Pursuit + Peace isn’t just an individual thing. Your pursuit in life is alone in a sense because you give an account for yourself at the end of it all, but we run together. Hopefully, none of us are trying to step on someone else’s feet along the way.
Now to the good stuff. I put a question out on my Instagram a year or two ago asking what was one of the most valuable things a person has learned in friendship. I had so many answers from loyalty, respect, trust, honesty, choosing wisely, friends being closer than family, having the same humor, and a lot more. I agreed with a lot of what people said because all those things actually do matter. If you have dry humor, sometimes it’s going to be hard to get along with someone who is very literal.
Honesty...
Honesty, we like to give it, and sometimes we don’t like hearing it. The truth IS honesty and you want friends who speak the honest truth which is the word, life, and sometimes a good rebuke. In my friendships, I’ve found that though honesty has hurt deeply sometimes it has helped cultivate selflessness. There are things that sometimes you need to work out of yourself to be a better person, friend, and most importantly a reflection of Jesus. This is why you need to avoid dishonest people.
A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin. - Proverbs 26:28
You don’t want a friend that hates you or tells you things just to make you feel better. Your friendships should absolutely bring life, but sometimes bringing that life comes in the form of speaking death to the things that aren’t godly and calling you out. In 2 Samuel 12, Nathan tells David a story that ends up with Nathan showing David the wrong he had done. That’s a good friend. I am the first one to say I have been greatly rebuked by my best friends, but it was needed. A bad friend leaves where you’re at and doesn’t make you grow. Find the friends who are honest and water you to full bloom. And not all honesty has to be a rebuke, its encouragement too. You need friends who will bring out the good, encourage you to seek the Lord in all things, and push you towards your calling. I’ve had dishonest friends who have been cut off. I’ve had dishonest friends who came forward and owned up to the dishonesty and I watched the Lord restore the friendship., I’ve had and still have very – and I mean I don’t think it gets any blunter than us – honest friends who love the Lord and have taught me so much in the truth that they speak. It’s corny but honesty is the best policy.
Trust...
Trust is one of those iffy things in life. No one likes having their trust broken. But that’s why you put your trust in your ultimate best friend, the Lord. You put your trust in the Lord ultimately, but in a way, you do trust people. You trust that mom or your dad are going to take care of you, you trust your car is going to get you from point A to point B. That same way you trust your friends. You tell them important things, you share things the Lord’s speaking to you, and sometimes you share the serious situations in life.
Bear (endure, carry) one another's burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete what is lacking [in your obedience to it]. - Galatians 6:2
In the trust we share, that confiding action we bear each other's burdens which ultimately is a reflection of the heart of Jesus. You should have friends that have the Holy Ghost but equally understand that they’re not superhuman, they’re not the Lord so they’ll fail you. Men fall short of the glory of God. Choose good friends who have wisdom, pure hearts before the Lord, kindness, and honesty all together. You want to trust that your friends aren’t going to hang up your dirty laundry where everyone can see it but instead pray with you, encourage you, and continue to run with you. I went through a really difficult season in life two years ago and had it not been for honest and kind friends I could trust, I don’t know if I would’ve stayed in Florida. They reminded me of the word of the Lord and encouraged me. Had I not trusted them, I would’ve gone through a trying time alone. Sometimes people let their pride also rob them of the joy of friendship from experiences they’ve had in the past. When my trust was majorly broken I promised the Lord I wouldn’t let that person ruin that in me because I felt that being able to trust and believe the good in people is a special gift. Therefore I didn’t lose trust and I held on. I laughed and preached myself into laughter with my friends when things got tough but it was because I trusted them and let them and the Holy Ghost comfort me.
Humor...
Lastly, one of the most important components of a friendship is humor. No one wants to be around people that don’t make them happy. One of my favorite things ever is when I’ve had an interesting day and I come home to my roommates and we sit together and talk about how crazy our days were and laugh at it and make our jokes about things. There’s a sense of comfort when you can joke with people. Listen, joy is a fruit of the spirit, and the word says a merry heart is like medicine. So find people who can laugh with you and not at you… though sometimes at you isn’t the end of the world and that’s just my personal opinion. With humor comes adventure and so many memories. One time I went on a kayak trip and it stormed and my friends made the best of the moment and now we look back and extra laugh. You can have fun with friends and honor the Lord in your friendships. People today think that to have humor you have to slip into the immoral side of life and you can have great friendships without doing that.
Surround yourself with friends who have the Holy Ghost, laugh with them, make memories and enjoy life. Life is meant to be shared and this life is but a vapor so enjoy it. Be an example of godly friendships to those who come across you. Be the iron that sharpens iron. Be the person who brings joy to people’s lives. Go out of your way to say thank you to a close friend today and that you appreciate them.
To all my sweet friends, I love and appreciate you. You’ve helped me become the person I am today with love, encouragement, truth, and humor.
