Hi Friends,
Welcome back! This post is from a sweet, strong person named Lauren. She is probably someone I’ve had more of a chance to observe and I can tell you that with all that she has experienced, I don’t know a person more joyful and unmoved by the natural! Here’s her 3 Biblical Keys to Overcoming Grief.
“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” - Psalm 30:5
Having joy is something that I have not always had. In fact, I received true and full joy after my father passed away; as odd as that may sound to some.
I am not the kid that didn’t get along with her mom. In fact, my mom was my best friend. She was the first person that I called about everything, and the one who knew all of my secrets. I didn’t hold back with my parents and that created a bond between us that made us more than parent and child, but best friends. I used to think that I could not live without them, I never could have even thought of a life like that. However, here I am, both of my parents are with Jesus now and as odd as it may seem, I am full of more joy today than I have been my entire life.
My mom was diagnosed with a rare type of breast cancer and lymphoma cancer some years ago. There were many years where Thursdays were chemo days and multiple doctor visits were a constant appointment on my calendar. Reactions to chemo and radiation were a constant presence in my life. Hospitals seemed like second homes at times. I even knew the lady at the front who made the coffee. When she’d see me and mom walk in, she’d start making our usual. Thank you, Lisa.
My father’s passing was not a slow process. At the end of 2020 he had a stroke and went to be with the Lord very quickly. That was a shocking jolt to my heart that I had to grasp very quickly.
People like to compare deaths to determine the level of grief that they believe you should have. Questions of “how close were you to them?” or “At least you knew ahead of time” or even “At least it was quick” are not words that comfort, but words that compare. I personally disagree with this way of thinking and questioning. I’ve experienced an unexpected passing and a slow expected passing, and one wasn’t greater than the other.
After my father passed, I almost wanted to leave everything that I ever knew. The pain and loss that I felt with both parents gone, seemed too much. The two most important people in my life were no longer here. That moment almost took me out. That is exactly what the devil wants. The devil wants you to be taken out. He wants to keep stealing days away from you, years later, even after a tragedy has happened. Tragedies are planned specific targets from the enemy to not just affect the one that they happen to, but to make a ripple through your entire family and friends. If the devil can take one tragedy to ruin a family tree, why can’t the Lord restore and redeem the family tree from a tragedy?
How can you experience full joy after the most important people in your life have left? There is a missing hole, a relationship that you no longer have in your life. That hole in your heart can't be fixed by any human. A person can’t supernaturally go into your heart and sow it up. They can’t be that relationship that is no longer there. How does the Lord redeem and restore such things? How do you move forward? There are natural and spiritual steps that get you to the other side, the side of victory. As I personally believe there could be an entire book on this process, below are three points that I believe never get addressed in the Christian realm.
“I will not leave you as orphans (comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless); I will come (back) to you.” - John 14:18
1. Run Towards the Roar
Don’t ignore the facts. The facts are that you are heartbroken, there is a hole now within your heart and life. The devil wants to keep you away from facing that pain. He will make that pain seem like a roaring lion, but it’s not something to be afraid of. You need to face every bit of pain within your heart that is starting to roar, and you need to lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Truth wins over facts. The truth is that the Lord will come into your heart and heal you to completion. You must allow the Lord into every part of your heart that is hurting, to let him heal it completely. Put yourself under the anointing as much as you possibly can, more than you have before. Go into your prayer closet and ugly cry on the floor as you welcome the Lord into your pain. Ask the Lord to come and heal what is seen and what is unseen in your heart that is broken. He is your comforter, healer, and friend. When you allow Him in, He will miraculously bind up your broken heart 100%.
“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory.” - Isaiah 61:3
2. A supernatural Severance of Earthly Items
When someone first crosses over, whenever you look at their personal items, you can feel a big sting in your heart. The sting that you feel exposes the condition of your heart. Death, where is your sting? The sting leaves when the Lord has done complete work in your heart. When my mom crossed over, I had a hard time getting rid of anything. Giving her stuff away or moving her stuff felt like a violation. Whenever I’d see her stuff, it would spin me back to the fact that she was not here with me. It kept me frozen. As the years went on, I slowly started to get rid of her things but it was still hard. When my father crossed over, we had to clear out his house to sell it weeks after he passed. I had to make quick decisions about what I wanted to keep and what I was willing to let go. I had to lean upon the Lord for strength. I learned something very important through handling these situations differently each time. The shedding of the items, brings light to any hurting area in your heart for the Lord to heal. Only God can do a supernatural severance between you and items from that person. Full healing is when you can look at a photo of them and experience nothing but joy and happy memories. Holding onto items can leave the door open for the enemy and be a welcome mat to the spirit of sorrow. Ask the Lord to help you, and face those belongings. Deciding what you want to keep is personal. I would suggest picking an item that can be repurposed. This can range anywhere from blessing someone with a cell phone, wearing their shirts or simply using their journals. This brings life and purpose back to an item that you couldn't face before. Talk to the Lord, lean upon Him and you will shred this baggage.
“May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing (through the experience of your faith) that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.” - Romans 15:13
3. Purpose in Your Heart to Never Give the Devil a Day of Your Life
The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He doesn’t stop once the tragedy has happened. He will keep trying to push that door open and keep stealing from you, if you allow him. I made a decision after my father passed away that I would never give the devil a future moment. This was very important to me during my wedding. People wanted me to have a display of my parents or kept asking me how I was doing. I was doing great! I was not sad, I was joyful. That was the happiest day of my life and I didn’t hand it over to the devil. I knew that if I gave the enemy a sad moment on that day, then he would have taken the restoration and celebration of my wedding day. I purposed in my heart not to let him keep winning. If every celebration brings you to a place of heartbreak that stings, then you haven’t fully run to the roar. This exposes your heart, and shows that there still are areas that might be hidden, that you haven’t given to the Lord to heal. Full healing is when you can have a birthday, an engagement, a wedding without having a meltdown that the person who has crossed over isn’t there. This isn’t to say that you don’t miss them, but there is a difference between missing someone and having it control your life. I promise you, if you purpose in your heart to not give the devil any more ground, you can enjoy the good things in life again. Make the decision within your heart to never give the devil a day, hour, or minute again and let your actions follow that decision.
I believe that no matter the level of heartbreak and loss that you experience, you need a supernatural touch from God. Put yourself under the anointing, even more than you did before. Be honest with the Lord, yourself and your Pastors. Let them know truly how you are behind closed doors. The Lord offers you complete healing and joy overflowing. If you need to forgive the person who passed away, then forgive them. Study scriptures specifically on joy and healing. Let the Word of God be your medicine. Being able to have joy at all times is a much better life to live. I was the girl who couldn’t live without her parents. Now, I’m the girl that not only can, but does have victory over that situation. Every smile that you see, every laugh that I awkwardly laugh, is a reflection of the joy of the Lord and how he has brought me through. Don’t live your life 80% healed, live your life at 100000% healed. This is the fullness of God and what He has to offer you. It’s not a question of IF He will, it’s a question of IF you will allow Him in completely to do the work.
“He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds (curing their pains and their sorrows).” - Psalm 147:3
