Dear Singles,
It’s that time of year where reds and pinks cover shelves in what feels like every store. I want to encourage you in this season of singleness. You can live a life that’s fulfilling in singleness! A person doesn’t complete you but it’s a relationship with God. Something I was always told growing up was that the person that comes into your life eventually (because there are some people who are called to singleness) should be adding to your life – NOT completing it.
Wholeness comes from Jesus and in a world that’s so image crazed and told what they should and shouldn’t have it can be hard for some during a month like this when you see what you don’t have. Regardless of being called to singleness or momentarily being single, trust that the Lord knows what’s best for you and WHO is best for you.
My mom always quotes Jeremiah 29:11 to me. “For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” People typically use this when it comes down to big life decisions, graduations, moving, and their call. Yes, it can be used in that context but something that always stands out to me is that God’s plan for us is to have peace and hope. I’ve watched people in my life walk into relationships – I myself have walked into a relationship or two – that left me without peace and zero hope. And when I mean no hope I mean I swore off marriage for a season of life but that is not what the Lord wanted. The Lord knows what relationship to bring to you that will add to your peace, that will build your hope and faith rather than take it away. Don’t trade a moment of singleness for the sake of not being single because it will rob you of your peace.
A valuable piece of advice I’ve been told is that it’s better to be single and wait for the right relationship than to date in the wrong relationship and more than that it needs to be the right time. You can be in the right relationship at the wrong time even. The Holy Ghost needs to be your litmus test when it comes to these things. What’s right, what’s wrong, what’s a red flag, what’re things popping up in your spirit that the Holy Ghost is showing you? Have self respect and enough respect for the Lord that you yield to the Holy Ghost no matter how much you might want to walk into a relationship because it looks good on paper.
Lastly, choose wisely. I have dated and broken a heart and I have been the broken heart but the Lord truly has restored me and comforted me. At the end of it all I have learned to choose wisely. Do not just hand over your heart to anyone, don’t romanticize a person in your head, guard your heart! Proverbs 4:23 says that you should guard your heart with diligence. Don’t be like someone locked in a fortress that is unreachable but really be cautious. Read the qualities in the word that a man/woman of God should possess. Watch people's character. Character speaks so loudly. Make sure that the person you may one day consider has godly character. Proverbs 31 says that charm is deceptive and though Proverbs 31 is about a woman, men can have charm as well and all of that is deceptive and looks do not last. It’s a person’s heart.
Jesus is your first love and should always remain so. I Corinthians 13 is considered the “love” chapter of the Bible which makes sense… we’ve heard “love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast..” As cliche as it may seem to some it’s very true and VERY important. Be patient in waiting for a love that is kind, without envy or insecurity. Bury yourself in the presence of God and ask the Lord for wisdom and guidance, trust your leaders, and enjoy this season! Once it’s gone, it’s gone and not that it’s a bad thing but you should value your singleness and enjoy the present. Don’t let countdowns steal from your today because today is just as special and wrapped up in the goodness of God is you choose to open your eyes to see it that way.
Sincerely,
Kez
