Hey Y’all!
So heartbreak… not necessarily something everybody likes talking about but is something most people experience to an extent whether it’s through friendships, relationships, family, etc. It happens but the way you respond to it all really molds you for the worse or for the better. It can either make you bitter or it can make you stronger. Bitterness will leave you stunted in growth, sad, and frustrated eventually. When the going gets tough you can always choose to let it propel you or anchor you. The best way to be propelled is by running to the Lord, forgiving those who hurt you, embracing the situation for what it is, prayer, and community!
Step 1: Run to the Lord
When a heartbreaking situation happened to me a few months ago I was super distraught and felt incredibly blindsided the first day. I was already in the middle of a fast asking the Lord for wisdom on my circumstances and then the big thing I never anticipated happening happened. So the next day I asked someone close to my heart if I could come and see her immediately because she is full of all the nuggets of wisdom you could think of. She said this…
"When you’re looking for someone and get into a relationship you start stripping layers of skin off so that when you get married you attach your flesh layer of vulnerability with the other persons and you become one flesh. So when you break up you have all this skin exposed (so an open wound) and it’ll attach to things which can be good or bad so you have to ask the Lord to sear the wound and heal your heart even if it’s hard."
This is slightly paraphrased but it was a piece of advice that changed my life. As hard as it was I prayed and asked the Lord to sear my wound, heal my heart, and help me. I had to decide to let the Lord in and help me. The word actually says the Lord is near the brokenhearted in Psalm 34:18 and I experienced that in the truest way. That day and everyday since then I had upped my time with the Lord even more. You can never go wrong when it comes to putting the Lord at the forefront of all things in life. I decided to give the Lord this part of me I felt was hard to let go initially. It made the biggest difference. I was able to lay it all at the feet of Jesus and it freed and healed me supernaturally fast. The Lord is the only one who can fill voids of the heart so let Him. You can make the choice to get in His presence and find joy. Psalm 16:11 says You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with You forever. Don’t attach it to your friends, your emotions, bad habits, etc. You can make a choice to run to the Lord first and let Him have complete control, it’ll change a bad outcome to a beautiful outcome. I can assure you when you give the Lord your ashes, your dirty laundry, and your pain He gives you beauty, restoration, and more.
Step 2: Forgiveness
Have you ever heard that saying where your unforgiveness doesn’t hurt them, it only hurts you? Well I'm here to tell you that… again… because it’s so true! You letting sadness and hurt fester up as a result of unforgiveness is only damaging your life, holding you down, and making it harder to move on. OH and it can actually make you sick. When you forgive it’s like emptying a suitcase of dirty laundry after a two week trip. Once the laundry is out and cleaned and put away and the suitcase is stored back in the closet then it’s not in your way anymore but the more you leave your clothes in that suitcase the more it’ll hinder you because it’s in the middle of your room, it has clothes you need, etc. Let go of the passive aggressive comments, the negative outlook you have on that person no matter who they are or how much they hurt you. Something I’ve always admired in people in my life is the ability to forgive when no apology was given, forgive when they were being dragged through the mud, forgive when an apology was ingenuine. They are often the happiest and kindest people to come across because they don’t carry the weight of their pain. When you forgive you release things to the Lord and you essentially give Him that heavy burden and He gives His light burden (Ref Matthew 11:28-20). A lot of times your act of forgiveness will free the other person too whether they even know it or not but let me tell you, i’ve heard stories of how someone in their heart forgave someone alone in their room and the next day the person who hurt them called and said they felt a release and there was a peaceable end. Sometimes it won’t happen that way but when you choose to walk in forgiveness, freedom, and joy it’ll show and carry you in the best way!
Step 3: Embrace the Change
You decide how you see things. If you look at the heartbreak like it’s the worst thing that’s happened to you it’s going to be the worst thing that’s happened to you, you’ll drop an anchor and feel like you’re stuck in a storm when you don’t even need to do that. If you look at the situation as a time to learn and grow you will propel yourself. You will pull yourself closer to the Lord, listen ever more closely to the holy spirit, and you’ll continue to build strong foundations in your life. Find the positives, maybe the Lord spared you from what could’ve been a super bad situation even more so down the road. Maybe the situation was going to keep you from what you needed to step into. And maybe it wasn’t the way it was supposed to be but when it’s something that you had minimal control over with your own actions then you get to trust the Lord will give you a better opportunity. Choose to move forward, choose to stand up, choose to embrace it and remind yourself how beautiful life is and do the things you love!
to be continued...
