To The Reader,
Hi there friends. I hope all is well. This week I’m doing something a little different. I’m here to write to you letter style, kind of like a conversation, and share some stuff with y’all. I think letters are one of my favorite ways to get my thoughts down. I would write letters to my parents growing up and letters to friends and other special people in my life. So now, I’m writing to all of you.
I’m going to go off my most recent post. For those of you who read and follow up with the blog, I asked some pretty amazing women in my life about what it means to be a woman. If you’re a guy, don’t run just yet. You might learn a thing or two about the women in your life. You might admire your mom, your sister, your girlfriend, spouse, female friends just a little more after this. Back to the subject at hand though. I asked pastors, business owners, wives, even my mom what it meant. Everyone had different answers but great ones. I think it’s important for everyone to reflect on who the Lord made them to be and what it truly means. The answers, though different, all had common ground. Most said a woman fears the Lord, a woman is loyal, & a woman is confident.
So I also asked myself what being a woman means to me. I was taken back to this verse in Proverbs 30:31 TPT and it says “Charm can be misleading, and beauty is vain and so quickly fades, but this virtuous woman lives in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord. She will be praised throughout eternity.” In that moment I recalled a lot of what I experienced growing up as a girl.
When I was a kid I was of… the rougher kind I guess you could say. If you’ve ever seen Remember the Titans, then just think of it as Sheryl Yoast (the main coach’s daughter) compared to Nicky Boone (the girl who played Denzel Washington’s daughter). Sheryl would rather be rough than break a nail like Nicky. I was the kind of girl who didn’t like dresses, makeup, dolls, pink, the list kind of goes on. My sisters were very girly and my complete opposite as were all my friends that were girls. I still can’t say I’ve completely changed. I don’t wear much makeup, dresses aren’t my first choice in my closet, and my favorite color changes between blue/yellow/green. As a kid, I felt like I was less than because I was a girl and then when it came to all the girls I felt less than because I wasn’t as feminine. I was very content with my lego sets and watching Clifford. I almost believed the lie that being a woman was fragile and weak. I almost believed that being a woman meant having to step on a man to get power. The truth is so far from that though. Throughout the Bible, we read countless stories of women who did incredible things because the Lord called and created them to do so and they feared the Lord and obeyed.
Some of my favorite stories are ones like Esther. She was in a place she should’ve never made it to. She entered the courts of the king WITHOUT invitation. That was majorly against societal standards back then. She went boldly and she was able to save her people because she yielded to the Lord. She was bold because of the Lord. Then we read about people like Deborah who became Israel’s judge. People went to her for their disputes. She was wise, people went to her for their issues but I can assure you that it was through the Lord that she was able to handle things with wisdom and grace. Rahab’s family was spared in the book of Joshua because she hid the spies and it was accounted to her as faith. This one is kind of dark but Jael drove a tent peg into someone’s head which helped bring victory. Priscila was in the ministry. Mary carried Jesus and was the vessel for the man who saved mankind. The moral of the story is: women are not weak. Women are actually very strong. Maybe not the same way that men are strong but in our own way, we’re stronger than we may appear.
The truth is that a true woman knows that her strength is from the Lord alone. Proverbs 31:25 AMP says, “Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; And she smiles at the future [knowing that she and her family are prepared].” What makes her strong isn’t herself, it isn’t things, it’s not what people make her. It’s the fact that the Lord makes her strong. She knows how to lean into the Lord and tap into grace and ask for strength. The Lord clothes her in that strength. Because of that strength and confidence in the Lord, that trust she has in Him, she doesn’t freak out about the future but she smiles. She’s secure in who the Lord is because she knows that in her fear of the Lord comes her obedience. With obedience to the Lord comes blessing. She knows that being in the perfect will of God keeps her protected so she doesn’t worry. A worrisome woman isn’t a godly woman. A godly woman knows the word, it’s hidden in her heart (Psalm 119:11), and she doesn’t let what’s in front of her steal her joy. It’s like how the woman that was healed from the issue of blood. She didn’t get phased by the fact she was unclean and in the midst of people. She had faith in Jesus and knew that she would be healed if she got to touch even the hem of His garment. Her faith made her whole. She trusted, she believed, and that’s what healed a twelve-year health issue she had.
Some women are called to be full-time moms. Some women are called into full-time ministry. Some women are called to be business owners. Some women are called to be wives. Some women are called to be all of the above and more. The reality is that all women, no matter what they’re called to be, are hardworking and effortful on each one’s part. Not one is more valuable than the other because as long you’re in the will of God, there’s nothing better. It isn’t a competition. It never was and it never will be. Proverbs 31 talks about the woman being one who knew how to make things, she knew how to supply things, she watched over her house, she taught wisely. No matter what you’re called to, you can emulate these things. Whether you’re a leader, a staff member somewhere, a business owner, a mom, a sister, a friend, or a wife. You can do all these things. You might have felt like you’re not enough, and you’re not but the grace of God is sufficient and is enough. He is the one who gives us the ability to accomplish things. God created us and we create every day. We create the world around us with the words we speak. In Proverbs 31 it says she opens her mouth in godly wisdom. That means she speaks life because she knows the power of life and death are in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21). No matter where you go, speak life. Whether it’s to your kids, your friends, siblings, parents, people you might lead always be the women who speak life. It sets the best example. Be the woman that brings joy into a room and life. Don’t be the woman who is insecure and brings a room down. The word says that those who look to Him are radiant with joy in Psalm 34:5. A worrisome, insecure woman cannot be radiant. Radiant equals joy and happiness kind of like how the sun is bright and yellow. Even better than speaking words of life and wisdom. We get to carry life. Not that I’ve experienced that yet but I sure do hope to and think it’s the most unique thing about women. The opportunity to carry life is an experience you can’t replicate. That’s why it’s important to also not compare and make things competitions. Your words have power and creating strife isn’t a pretty quality. To me, a pretty heart is more valuable than a pretty face. So have a heart that brings life to everyone.
So if you ask me what it means to be a woman. I would say it’s not about wearing makeup or not, it’s not about wearing a dress or not. Those things flash before in life. Like the verse says in Proverbs 30:31, “Charm can be misleading, and beauty is vain and so quickly fades..” Skin-deep beauty is here today and gone tomorrow. It’s about being secure in the Lord. Yielding to His every instruction. Being an example to those around us. I think it’s important to be what you would expect from others. I think if you want good friends, be a good friend. If you want a good daughter, be a good daughter. If you want your son to marry a woman of God, emulate those characteristics and qualities so he seeks that in a wife. Be the kind of wife you would want your daughters to grow up to also be. Be the sister you would need to others. Be kind, be God-fearing, be loving, be caring, be loyal, and bring life to many. Be who the Lord called you to be and be confident in that. Being a woman is not about being fragile. Being a woman, a virtuous woman at that is about living in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord. That is something to admire in any woman who does so.
I was 5 years old in the stories I mentioned and now I’m 22 as of… literally International Women’s Day, March 8th. Today I can say being a woman wasn’t what I thought at 5 and I’m happy it’s not because it really is a privilege to be a woman. Being a woman isn’t the shorter end of the stick. Being a woman means reflecting the Bride of Christ. It’s being hardworking, it’s being an example, it’s being nurturing, it’s being exactly who God to me to be—a woman who fears the Lord.
Sincerely,
Keziah-Grace Lopes
P.S. I’d like to thank my wonderful roommates who are all so different as women but are wonderful in every way. You’ve helped show me that it’s not about liking the color pink or whether or not you want to wear the dress but that loving the Lord and fearing Him is more than enough and that there’s never a need to make things a competition.
P.S. Just one more for the guys who actually read through this. I hope it helps you appreciate the women in your life all the more and if you’re not married I hope this helps you know what to look for more than anything.
